Posts Tagged ‘rants’


2013 — I really hated you

January 17, 2014

So 2013 was pretty much the most horrible year I have ever had on earth, I won’t go into details because its none of your business but lets just leave it at it was pretty awful. As a result, I didn’t work out quite as much as I wanted to nor did I eat strictly the way I needed to. I ate foods that I knew would make sick (and trigger my allergies) and why? Well I’m not sure, I think it was to punish myself for all the horrible things that happened or maybe just because I wanted them, I don’t know. Here we are mid-January and I’m back to my strict, disciplined ways minus the working out, its really hard to do with double ear infections and a sinus infection, that should start back next week. 

I sometimes and this was especially true last year, feel like I am being horribly selfish with my dietary restrictions even though I don’t have a choice with most of them and my workout regimen even though that keeps my lungs moving the way they need to and I am convinced helps prevent pneumonia. I think or at least I want to believe this is a common problem for people who were extremely unhealthy and are just trying to maintain their new way of being. I hope I’m not alone in all of this anyway because then it would be proof I’m as weird as I’m accused of being. Anyway the moral of the story is 2013 sucked and I really hated it, I hope 2014 is better for everyone. 


These Are The Times That Try Mens’ (okay my) Souls…Infections Suck

November 14, 2012

It is pretty well documented that I have really annoying/wicked illness that leaves me with little defense against random infections and other fun things. A couple of weeks ago I had to go to urgent care because of a massive earache, now I get ear infections a lot so I wasn’t terribly concerned because it is the one thing I typically get over quickly. Of course…not this time.

This particular ear infection had moved from my middle ear to the space between my jaw and ear (I might be describing that wrong) and was causing all sorts of nasty problems that I won’t go into detail here. Needless to say its been a trying couple of weeks and I’m finally starting to feel better after lots of antibiotics and shots. The best part is (okay not even close to being a best part of anything) I have about 70% hearing loss as a result in my right ear. They’re not sure if its going to return or not and can’t say what the long term effects will be even if I do recover some of the loss. I love doctors, I guess that’s why they call it practice. :-/




Call Out The Whaambulance

September 10, 2012

As I meet and talk to people about weight loss and getting healthy, etc, which I find myself doing more and more against my better judgement, I hear the same things over and over. Basically no one has time to eat right, no one has time to make good choices, no one has time to blah blah blah. I’m pretty sure this is EXACTLY how I sounded until I sucked it up and got over myself. Basically the whole myth of not having time is a self fulfilling prophecy because these same people have their favorite TV shows and always make it to the movies and do whatever else they like to do, I know I did. Excuses are a dime a dozen and until you stop lying to yourself you’re never going to get where you want to be. Getting into shape is not magic, it is not going to just suddenly happen to you, I know I used to think that way without even knowing I was thinking that way.

I remember how I always used to think (and I really did, I believed it myself, lies can be powerful that way), “Oh I don’t eat THAT badly,” usually this was followed by or even during my now infamous and disgusting to me pizza binges. This was basically me eating 4 or 5 slices of pepperoni and sausage pizza followed by a few fried wings for lunch or dinner and then thinking “oh I’ll make that up tomorrow, I’ll run a little extra or life extra weights.” Here’s the dirty little secret, I never felt like doing anything at all the next day let alone anything extra, exercise without proper nutrition is like spinning your wheels and getting mad that you’re not going anywhere. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I have always hated working out so nutrition was doubly important for me and I was always failing at it.

Again this blog isn’t about how smart I am or how much I know, it’s about what I’ve learned and am learning and this is the most powerful lesson I’ve learned so far. You can’t lie to yourself about your health, your body knows the truth. Sure you can convince yourself you’re doing the right things and fake it for a while but eventually your body will catch up to the lie and it will be super hard to correct the lie. The whole “I’m not doing that badly” and the “I don’t have time” lies are the same side of the coin. You like to yourself with the former and you enable that lie with the latter. “Oh I’m not eating too badly but I’ll just order this pizza or go to McDonald’s because I don’t have time to cook.” Sound familiar?

The bigger point is you can make time, you can come home and cook. If you think you’re too tired, which is another one I hear, think of how fantastic you’ll feel when you lose that 50 pounds, you’ll have plenty of energy. You only get one body in this life so you really should take care of it, saying you don’t have time to eat right is like saying you don’t have time to breathe, you just have to do it. The recipes I post here usually don’t take more than twenty or thirty minutes to prepare, know why? That’s right because I used to be a victim of my own “I don’t have time” lie and I finally got myself over it by finding or making up really quick recipes that are healthy and tasty. If you can’t find time to feed yourself well how will you ever find time to be as sick as you’ll end up being later on in life? I know I wish I would’ve learned this lesson much earlier on in life, it would’ve saved me a ton of heartache and pain.




Willpower, Yeah It Still Sucks

June 22, 2012

A couple of friends and a couple of coworkers look at me like I have a foot growing from my forehead because of my diet. “I could NEVER do that, I love milk too much” or “How are you doing that? I love chocolate too much!” Guess what, SO DO I! It sucks having to deprive yourself of things you really enjoy (and being reminded of it nearly constantly) but given my plethora of health issues and my generally overwhelming feelings of hatred towards myself because of those issues, something had to change. Again what I did was extreme and I recognize it’s not as easy for some people to just quit things that are bad for them. It took me a long time to reach this point in my life and sometimes I wish I would’ve done it sooner but you know what? That’s life, we don’t always make the decisions we should when we should, it takes time and you have to do it for your own reasons. As I explained to one of my friends, I’m a very competitive person and in this instance I’m just competing with myself. I’m not interested in weight loss betting pools or contests, etc. I’m interested in feeling better. If losing weight is a side benefit, great. Here’s the truth, I wasn’t (and am not currently) all that unhappy being a big person, I’m pretty sure even I get down to where I want to be I’ll still be a “fatty” and I’m okay with that. Being a big guy never really limited me in anything I wanted to do and I don’t really feel like I was discriminated against. What I’m learning though is the food I was eating was killing me (partially anyway) and removing those bad foods have for the most part made me feel better. It really is as simple as that.

I still miss milk, pizza and chocolate for what its worth but it gets easier every day.




Food Companies Are Out To Get You

June 5, 2012

One thing I’ve learned so far in my journey is something I’ve always known in the back of my mind…food companies only really care about themselves and not their customers. I will pick on General Mills for a second, mainly because I always loved their cereals. They sold $14.9 billion  worth of their wares last year making a profit of $2.9 billion. Do you really think it matters to them if they lose a couple of Cheerios eaters along the way? It doesn’t, not one bit. The Cheerios eater can die or change their lifestyle or whatever and General Mills does not care, why? Because they are a giant soulless, lifeless corporation! That’s why! Do I honestly believe that they have mad scientists sitting in labs figuring out how to kill people with the large amounts of sugar in their cereals, yes, I mean no, of course that’s probably not true but where there is smoke, there is fire.

Cheerios (and yes I’m a former Cheerios addict) is one of the better cereals out there, health-wise and it’s a giant trap for diabetics and folks seeking to lose weight. The total carbohydrates in a serving (1 cup) of Cheerios is 20 grams. That isn’t a lot when you compare it with their other cereals. Chocolate Lucky Charms, for instance has 24 grams of total carbs and its serving size is 3/4 of a cup. When is the last time you were able to eat 3/4 cup of cereal? See the game that’s being played? They aren’t consistent about serving sizes even across their own products, it’s not a lie, certainly but it’s clearly an attempt to mislead. I was completely ignorant of this before I started really paying attention to labels and the way foods are made.

I’m not one of these crazy hippy “get back on the farm” types but you really do need to develop a relationship with your food. Understand where it comes from and how it is made. If you saw where cereal was made (never mind sausage) you might never eat it again either. I’m not talking about going to a farm and slaughtering a cow but you should understand where that cow is being slaughtered, how it was taken care of and more importantly how it was handled after slaughter. I think if I understood this fully before, a) I would’ve stopped eating meat and b) would’ve been a lot skinnier in the first place. I’m learning that it is just super important to really grasp where you food is coming from and how it relates to your body than just about anything else nutrition-wise. In the next couple of posts I’ll explore nutrition labels and why, as my nutritionist says “those are just places for the companies to print lies”

Anyway, thanks General Mills for being a good sport and really I loved your cereals for many years but I’ve moved on and so should you. I picked on them because Cheerios was an addiction of mine but there are a lot of cereal manufacturers out there with even less morals and even bigger lies. The bigger picture though is that of personal responsibility, I know folks who eat cereal for every meal and are just fine, their bodies can handle it, if yours can’t then it is up to you to make smarter choices (I’m learning this the excruciatingly hard way). If you’re like I am trying desperately not to be anymore and think “well they wouldn’t make it or advertise it that way if it was really bad for me” then you need to really examine your mindset. I was addicted to eating Cheerios for breakfast (and sometimes dinner) but no one forced me to, I ate way more than the serving size but I was the one pouring it into my bowl. The least we could do is make it tough for these companies to pick us off.