Willpower, Yeah It Still Sucks

June 22, 2012

A couple of friends and a couple of coworkers look at me like I have a foot growing from my forehead because of my diet. “I could NEVER do that, I love milk too much” or “How are you doing that? I love chocolate too much!” Guess what, SO DO I! It sucks having to deprive yourself of things you really enjoy (and being reminded of it nearly constantly) but given my plethora of health issues and my generally overwhelming feelings of hatred towards myself because of those issues, something had to change. Again what I did was extreme and I recognize it’s not as easy for some people to just quit things that are bad for them. It took me a long time to reach this point in my life and sometimes I wish I would’ve done it sooner but you know what? That’s life, we don’t always make the decisions we should when we should, it takes time and you have to do it for your own reasons. As I explained to one of my friends, I’m a very competitive person and in this instance I’m just competing with myself. I’m not interested in weight loss betting pools or contests, etc. I’m interested in feeling better. If losing weight is a side benefit, great. Here’s the truth, I wasn’t (and am not currently) all that unhappy being a big person, I’m pretty sure even I get down to where I want to be I’ll still be a “fatty” and I’m okay with that. Being a big guy never really limited me in anything I wanted to do and I don’t really feel like I was discriminated against. What I’m learning though is the food I was eating was killing me (partially anyway) and removing those bad foods have for the most part made me feel better. It really is as simple as that.

I still miss milk, pizza and chocolate for what its worth but it gets easier every day.



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